Recovery
by Eiress Goddess of Inspiration
Summary: In the sequel to "When the Past Comes Knocking" Horatio Caine's daughter, Nerissa, has returned to Miami after a traumatic undercover mission. Now she must navigate a long recovery and find a way to fall back into her old life. Will she succeed or will the constant reminders of who she was before California be too much to bear?
1. Chapter 1

Horatio had been so relieved the day that Nerissa came home from California. To see his daughter standing in front of him, safe in her own home lifted a weight off his chest that had been there since the day she left.

His heart had dropped when he saw the momentary flash of fear in her eyes when Ana rushed her. Then, it broke in two when he saw the grimace she had tried to so hard to conceal when Ana hugged her.

His heart finally shattered into bits when he saw the crutches and the knee brace.

Anger bubbled inside him and he wanted to kill the son of a bitch who did this to her.

Then, her crystalline blue eyes met his and nothing else mattered. The only thing he wanted to do was pull his daughter close and never let her go. They had dinner, they talked, they spent time together as a family for the first time in forever, and then they went to bed. Everything seemed like it could be okay.

The next day Horatio went to work and Nerissa stayed home with Ana. That night they went to the West Cafe for dinner. Everything seemed okay, but Horatio had forgotten one little thing from his trip to California.

The Nightmares.

About an hour after he went to bed the second night, Horatio jerked awake when a bone-chilling scream pierced the air. He bolted down the hall to Nerissa's room. When he pushed open the door, he found her trapped in a nightmare, terrorized by some horrible memory. For lack of better option, he knelt by the bed and using hushed tones, tried to wake her gently and assure her that she was safe. Eventually, her screams melted away to soft mewling and she woke up sobbing. Then, things got worse when Horatio heard a soft knock on the bedroom door.

"Mommy," Ana whimpered, "I'm scared. I heard scary noises…."

Nerissa still wasn't fully aware of what was going on, so Horatio took charge, "Ana, sweetie, everything's okay. I'll be in to tuck you back in soon."

"Okay," Ana said timidly.

After calming his daughter to a point where she was aware of her surroundings, he slipped out to tuck his grand-daughter back in.

"What was that noise, Grampa?" Ana asked nervously when Horatio entered.

"You know how you have bad dreams sometimes?" Horatio asked, and when she nodded he continued, "Well, Mommy had one and it scared her really bad."

"Oh," Ana said, "Is she okay?"

"Yeah, she's going to be okay," Horatio assured her, "Now, how about you go back to sleep."

"Okay," Ana said as she wriggled down into her blankets.

"Good night, Princess," Horatio smiled as he tucked the blankets in around her and gave her a kiss on the forehead, "Sleep tight."

"Night, Grampa," Ana yawned, already drifting back off.

Horatio tip-toed out and re-entered his daughter's bedroom, where she was still curled up on the bed, shaking and dripping with sweat.

"Do you want to try sleeping again?" Horatio asked softly.

"N-no," Nerissa stammered as she shook like a leaf.

"How about we go to the living room and watch T.V.?" Horatio suggested. Nerissa nodded weakly and allowed him to help her out to the living room. Once they got settled on the couch Horatio turned on the television and a few hours later Nerissa had fallen back asleep curled up against Horatio's chest.

* * *

Three weeks passed and at least every other night had gone the exact same way as the first, but Nerissa was determined to change the never-ending cycle and that started with making a huge change to her daily routine.

"Dad," Nerissa said to get her dad's attention.

"What's up, sweetie?" Horatio looked up from the file that he'd been reading while sipping his morning coffee.

"I'm going to work tomorrow," Nerissa announced.

"You are?" he asked clearly surprised by the announcement.

"I've been back for three weeks now," Nerissa took a deep breath, "and I think it's high time that I face everyone."

Horatio sat his coffee cup down, "Are you sure?"

Nerissa gulped, "I have to sooner rather than later because if I don't… I'm not going to get any better." She paused to take a gulp of coffee, " and I'm going stir crazy just sitting around all day. I'm ready to back into a work routine, even though it will only be desk duty."

"Okay," Horatio said rinsing his coffee cup out in the sink, "I'll make the proper notifications and have a desk in Homicide cleared for you."

"Thanks, Dad," Nerissa smiled, "You'd better get going, wouldn't want you to be late."

"Bye, Rissa," Horatio replied before he pressed a light peck to her cheek, "See you after work."

* * *

Once Horatio got to work, he immediately made the necessary arrangements for Nerissa's return. Then, he called everyone together for a team meeting in the ballistics lab.

"I have some news," Horatio announced when the whole team got settled in.

"Is it about Nerissa?" Calleigh asked.

"It is," Horatio nodded as he absent-mindedly toyed with the arms of his sunglasses.

"Well, what is it?" Ryan asked impatiently, "Is she okay?"

"She's okay," Horatio assured the team, "She's home." Shock rippled through the team and Natalia was the first to speak,

"When did she get back? Today?" she asked.

"Three weeks ago," Horatio admitted and the entire team started talking all at once, but he silenced them with a hand, "She needed time to get used to being home and deal with everything that's happened to her, and more than anything else she needed time with Ana."

The whole team silently pondered the ramifications of Nerissa's return, until Eric spoke up, "What happened to her?"

Horatio chose his next words carefully, "While she was missing in Afghanistan, she was tortured. I don't know to what extent because she hasn't told me, but I've seen some of the damage." Horatio paused to take a deep breath, "Most of the physical damage she sustained in Afghanistan has healed, but mentally she's still got a long way to go. However, a few weeks before she came home she was shot twice.

"How bad was it?" Calleigh asked concern creased her facial expression.

"She's going to need a lot of physical therapy for her knee and maybe another surgery, but the wound to her abdomen is almost healed," Horatio informed them, "Over the next few months she's going to need your patience more than anything else."

"When can we see her?" Eric asked from his position against the wall.

"When she comes to work tomorrow," Horatio replied.

Once again, shock rippled through the room but this time Calleigh was the first to speak, "She's coming back work already?!"

"She thinks she's ready, and who am I to stop her from trying to regain some sense of normalcy after everything she's been through?" Horatio paused to check his watch, "Now we all have work to do, so, let's get to it.

Reluctantly the team dispersed to their respective labs and desks, except for Calleigh, who followed Ryan.

"Ryan!" Calleigh called as she jogged after him.

"What's up, Cal?" Ryan asked, pausing long enough for her to catch up.

"Are you okay?" Calleigh asked since she was sure that Ryan was experiencing some conflicted emotions over Nerissa's return.

"I'm fine," Ryan shrugged nonchalantly, but Calleigh could tell he was lying.

"You know for a CSI you're a pretty bad liar," Calleigh called him out, "Are you going to be okay seeing her again?"

"Of course I'll be okay seeing her again," Ryan replied, "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I just wanted to hear it from you," Calleigh said as she scrutinized Ryan's expression, searching for any hint that he was lying, "You just came to terms with your emotions over her being gone and now she's back and you have to confront your feelings about her-"

"Let me stop you there," Ryan cut her off, "My feelings for Nerissa are not going to get in the way of work or our friendship."

"I think you should go see her tonight," Calleigh suggested, "Out of all of us, she needs you the most and it would give you the chance to relieve some of the pent-up stuff you've had going on the last few months."

"I'm fine, Cal," Ryan scoffed, "Besides, why would she even want to see me?"

"You told Eric she ran the night that you told her you loved her, right?" Calleigh asked.

Ryan nervously ran a hand through his hair, "Like I had the plague."

"Ryan," Calleigh laughed, "That's actually a good thing when it comes to, Riss."

"On what planet is running a good thing?" Ryan asked incredulously.

"Because if she didn't love you, she would have told you so to your face," Calleigh explained, "but she ran, Ryan. Don't you see that means that she's not entirely sure how she feels?"

"So, what you're saying is that she ran that night because she does love me?" Ryan asked skeptically.

"More or less," Calleigh nodded.

"Why are you telling me this?" Ryan asked, "You're her best friend. Isn't there some kind of girl code that this violates?"

"She needs help right now, help that I can't give her," Calleigh said sadly, "and she needs someone to be her rock, someone other than Horatio."

"Thanks for the advice, Cal," Ryan said, " but I think I'm going to wait until tomorrow."

"That's up to you," Calleigh shrugged, "but if you hurt her in any way," Suddenly Calleigh was centimeters from Ryan's face, "I swear that I will kill you and I will get away with it."

* * *

"Hey Dad," Nerissa greeted, looking up from her book when Horatio stumbled in the door after his shift, "How was work?"

"You know how it is.," Horatio replied as he worked to prise off his muddy shoes, "would have been better if I hadn't stumbled into a mudhole at a scene today."

"I would rather wade through mud than be stuck in this damn thing," She referred to her knee brace.

"I know you would, sweetheart," Horatio sympathized, "You just have to be patient. We can't have you getting hurt on the job because you tried to come back to full duty too early."

"I know," Nerissa huffed, "but it's still frustrating. I'm not gonna be able to do any kind of field work for almost another six months."

"At least you'll be able to work in the lab when you can stand without crutches," Horatio pointed out in attempt to look on the bright side.

"It's still frustrating," Nerissa rubbed her temples, "So, how did the team take the news?"

"Better than I expected," Horatio admitted, "Ryan was pretty upset you'd been home so long without saying anything but everyone else seemed to take it pretty well."

"I don't know what I'm going to do about Ryan," Nerissa mumbled so low Horatio almost missed it.

"So, something did happen between you at the dinner before you left?" Horatio asked.

"Yeah," Nerissa finally admitted, "He told me he loved me."

Horatio was unsurprised. In fact, he'd suspected for quite some time that Ryan was in love with his daughter, "And you ran, didn't you?"

"Yeah," Nerissa replied quietly, "I- I just don't know how I feel about him. I trust him with my life but I just don't know if I'm ready to have a relationship like that with someone."

"You mean with someone other than Tyler," Horatio corrected her gently.

"That too," Nerissa admitted, suddenly becoming interested in a loose thread on her blanket, "It's both, and after Afghanistan, I just don't know if I can trust a man like that."

"I can't tell you what to do, Rissa," Horatio told her, "but I do know that Ryan would go to the ends of the earth to protect you." Nerissa didn't say anything and Horatio didn't expect her to, "Where's Ana?"

"Coloring in her room," Nerissa replied, "She was in a mood earlier, so I sent her to her room."

Horatio was surprised to hear that as it was unlike her to misbehave, "What did she do?"

"It was both of us," Nerissa admitted guiltily, "She wanted to go outside and play. I told her that we couldn't. She got snippy with me so I sent her to her room. I feel bad about punishing her for something like that but I'm just so tired."

"Are you feeling okay?" Horatio placed a hand on her forehead to check for fever and pretended not to notice when she flinched at his touch.

"Other than the normal aches and pains that come with the abuse my body's taken lately. I'm fine," Nerissa pulled away from her father's touch, "but I had a migraine earlier."

"You haven't had a migraine since before Ana was born," Horatio frowned.

"I've had a few since… you know," Nerissa replied, unable to bring up the desert twice in a matter of minutes.

"You should go to the doctor," Horatio suggested.

"No," Nerissa asserted firmly, "I've spent way too much time around doctors lately. I'll be fine."

"Rissa," Horatio said.

"No!" Nerissa snapped, "I'll be fine."

Horatio dropped the topic but made a mental note to keep a close eye on her behavior for a while, worried that going back to work may cause some problems.

* * *

A/N: _Welcome back to Nerissa's story, everyone! I'm sorry that I kind of disappeared for so long but now I've got my inspiration back. I can't promise that updates will be regular but they will be happening. I'm a full-time education major and I've got a really busy schedule so I don't always have time to write for fun. Thanks to anyone who has stuck around this long. My bio has a few other notes about future plans for my account so check it out if you're interested. I can't wait to hear from all of you! ~E_


	2. Chapter 2

Nerissa woke up bright and early the next morning to get ready for work. Unfortunately, that meant that she also had to wake her father up bright and early to help her with her pre-shower ritual.

"Dad," Nerissa whispered into the guest room, "Dad, I need your help."

Horatio bolted awake, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Nerissa said, "I just need help stabilizing my knee so I can take my shower."

"Oh," Horatio said groggy, "Yeah, I'll be right in."

Nerissa crutched back into her room and waited for her dad. A few minutes later Horatio walked in, already dressed for work, "You're up early."

"I couldn't sleep any longer," Nerissa replied as she handed her dad the waterproof bandaging, "I hope you don't mind me waking you up, I really should make a better effort to do this myself but my range of motion still sucks."

"I don't mind at all, Rissa," Horatio told her as he rolled the bandage around her knee making sure that it was tight enough to support her weakened muscles and joint, "It just gives me the opportunity to make you and Ana breakfast."

"What are you gonna make?" Nerissa asked, her mouth was already watering thinking about her father's cooking.

"I was thinking pancakes for Ana and breakfast bowls for you and me," Horatio replied, his spirits soared when he realized she actually sounded excited about food. To be fair, he had noticed that she had been making a concerted effort to eat better, but some days it was really hard for her.

"That sounds delicious," Nerissa drooled.

"Alright, why don't you shower and I'll go get started on breakfast," Horatio brushed his hands together once he secured the end of the bandage.

"Do you want me to wake up Ana when I finish?" Nerissa asked as she pulled herself up with help from her crutches.

"I'll get her up when I finish her pancakes," Horatio answered as he walked out. Nerissa moved into the bathroom and went through her morning routine. After picking clothes that hid all of her scars and applying makeup that concealed the ones on her face and neck, Nerissa found herself glaring at her damp hair in the mirror.

"Breakfast is ready," Horatio announced as he rapped on the door frame, before entering Nerissa's room, that's when he noticed how frustrated she looked, "What's wrong?

"I don't know what to do with my hair," Nerissa replied but continued to glare at her reflection.

"What do you mean?" Horatio asked, slightly confused about what exactly the dilemma was.

"I can't do it myself because my shoulder still aches like a son of a bitch sometimes and I can't just let it air dry because if I do it will be a frizzy mess," she grumbled, "and I don't want you to just braid it."

Horatio didn't understand why she was so upset about her hair but knew he couldn't just brush it off, so he thought of something, "Why don't you go eat breakfast and we'll worry about your hair when you've got some food in you."

Nerissa sighed, "Alright, then I'll at least tie my hair back for breakfast."

"Would you like me to do it?" Horatio asked.  
"No, I can handle a simple ponytail," Nerissa replied as she looped a band around her hair and then followed her father into the kitchen for breakfast.

* * *

Fifteen minutes later breakfast had been devoured, or at least mostly devoured by Nerissa, and the dishes had been cleared when someone knocked on the door.

"I'll get it," Horatio said and a minute later he came back with Calleigh trailing behind him.

"Calleigh," Nerissa gasped, "What are you doing here?"

"Horatio called me," Calleigh explained with a broad grin, "He said you needed some help with your hair this morning. So, I decided that since I was ready I might as well come help you look your best for your first day back."

Nerissa was touched, "Thanks, Cal."

Calleigh smiled, "You're very welcome. Now let's get started."

Twenty minutes later Calleigh was putting the finishing touches on Nerissa's hairdo, "All done!" Calleigh said spinning Nerissa around to face the mirror, "What do you think?"

Nerissa examined her hair and was pleased with the final product, "It looks great, Calleigh. Thank you."

"You're welcome," Calleigh replied, "It was a bit different. It's so much shorter than it was the last time I did your hair."

"It was almost past my waist when I… I came back from Afghanistan," Nerissa recalled, "I couldn't brush it without my arms getting tired and I got so frustrated with it I took a pair of kitchen scissors to it, cut it almost to my chin."

Calleigh was shocked that Nerissa offered up information relating to her mission but didn't mention it, "How long ago was that?"

"Almost three months," Nerissa replied but her eyes glazed over into what could have been a flashback.  
Calleigh saw Nerissa's eyes glaze over so she gently snapped her out of it, "How come it's still so short?

Nerissa's eyes refocused, "Before I came back from California I decided that I liked it short so I had it trimmed a bit."

"I like it," Calleigh smiled, "Ready to go?"

"Yeah," Nerissa said but she didn't move.

"What's wrong?" Calleigh asked when she didn't follow.

"I need some help," Nerissa said timidly.

"Name it," Calleigh said.

"I need some help getting my other shoe on," she replied holding it up. Calleigh didn't bat an eye at the request and gently slipped the shoe on and secured the buckle.

"There you go," Calleigh replied with a smile and held her hand out, "Ready now?"  
Nerissa smiled gratefully, accepting the help up, "Thank you, Calleigh.."

"It's absolutely no problem, Rissa," Calleigh replied seriously, "Anything you need, just ask."

"Thanks, Cal," Nerissa said again and then the pair was off to work.

* * *

Nerissa rode to work with her dad, who left the silence unbroken, knowing that she needed this time to think and mentally prepare herself for her return to the craziness that was the Miami Dade crime lab.

"You ready?" Horatio asked as he parked the Hummer in front of the building.

Nerissa took a deep breath, "Yeah, I am. I'm ready for my life to regain some semblance of normalcy."

"Let's go then," Horatio stepped out of the car and moved around the vehicle to open Nerissa's door. He offered her a hand and then the pair headed into the station. A few feet from the doors Nerissa froze, "What's wrong, Rissa?"

"I was wrong," Nerissa said and Horatio could clearly see that she was on the verge of a panic attack, "I'm not ready for this."

Horatio wasn't surprised that she'd begun to have seconds thoughts, "Why don't we take this one step at a time, come inside and work for an hour or two and then we'll move on from there."

"I… I don't know, Dad," Nerissa backed away hesitantly, "I don't think I can do this."

"I know you can do it, sweetheart," Horatio assured her, "Come in and we'll try for a bit, and if you're not okay I'll take you home."

"Okay," Nerissa nodded, taking a deep breath, "I'll try. It's just desk work. How bad could it be?"

"That's my girl," Horatio gave her a quick but gentle hug, "Let's do this."

* * *

***Ryan's POV***

"Get it together, Ryan!" he thought to himself as he paced the length of the locker room over and over again, "It's one little question. Six little words. Why is this so hard!?"

Ryan had been repeatedly asking himself those same questions in his head for close to an hour, as he tried to work up the nerve to finally ask Nerissa out. He continued to pace back and forth knowing that he needed to get himself together because she'd be walking through those doors in less than five minutes. In less than five minutes he would see her for the first time in six months.

Ryan wasn't sure what to expect Nerissa to look like, but whatever it was it was nothing compared to what she looked like when finally she walked in. The second that Nerissa stepped through those doors, with Horatio close behind, he could see that his plans to ask her out would have to wait. Horatio's talk yesterday had done nothing to prepare him for what he saw. It wasn't hard to see that she wasn't the same Nerissa that had left.

This Nerissa was battered, thin and unsure of herself. Ryan could tell by the way she flinched away from Horatio's unexpected touch that she had been through hell in all those months away, and by the look in her eyes. Her once bright and daring eyes were now dark and guarded. Ryan could infer from the long sleeves she was wearing, despite the hot Miami heat, that she had been abused and beaten. He could tell from the scars that crisscrossed her hands and wrists and, despite her best efforts, he could see the scars marring her beautiful face. He knew deep down that there even more hidden beneath her clothes.

Everything came together and Ryan became angry when his eyes fell on the brace that encased her knee and the crutches that held up her thin frame. Ryan knew that she had to have a lot of emotional scarring as well, but that didn't stop him from deciding at that moment to be her rock, just like Calleigh had suggested. He decided to become someone that would be able to help her heal, someone to be the shoulder that she would inevitably need to cry on and he resolved to be that person no matter how much she tried to push him away.

"Hi, Rissa," Ryan greeted as casually as he could, "It's good to see you." He kicked himself for his lame greeting.

"Hey, Ryan," Nerissa gave him a small smile and thought to herself that he looked exactly the same as he did the day she'd left. Which she found funny since she looked nothing like the day she left, or at least she felt like she didn't, "It's good to see you, too. How have you been?"

"Pretty good," Ryan was suddenly unsure of what to say now that she was standing right in front of him, "It hasn't been the same without you here."

Nerissa didn't reply right away but moved to open her locker and Horatio saw what was going on, "Ryan, could you do me a favor?" Horatio asked taking a glance at his watch, "I have a meeting with the Captain. Could you show Nerissa to her desk?"

"Uh, yeah. Sure, no problem," Ryan replied awkwardly.

"Thanks," Horatio said and then whispered in Nerissa's ear, "I'll see you in a bit. Remember our deal."

"I will," Nerissa replied softly, "Bye, Dad."

After Horatio exited, Nerissa and Ryan fell into an awkward silence for a few minutes while Nerissa fiddled with the straps on her knee brace before she broke the silence, "I know you're dying to ask about it."

"About what?" Ryan asked, unsure of what she was referring to.

"What happened while I was gone," Nerissa answered while avoiding eye contact.

The tone of her voice and her defeated posture broke Ryan's heart. He wondered what happened to her that had broken her like this? "If you're not ready to talk about it I'm not going to push you to," Ryan told her, "I just want you to know that when you're ready to let some of it out I'll always be here for you."

Nerissa gave a small smile, "That's probably not going to be for a long time," she told him, then whispered, "If ever."

"I'm here for you, Nerissa," he took a seat next to her, "The whole team is."

"I know," she whispered staring at the floor. After a moment she looked up at him, "Why don't you show me to my new desk?"

"Alright, follow me," Ryan stood and offered her a hand up.

The pair walked in silence to the squad room where she would have a desk next to Frank Tripp and work on cold case files and other desk work.

"Here you are," Ryan said flourishing a hand at the desk, "Your new home."

"For now," she said wistfully, "Thanks, Ryan."  
"Anytime," Ryan said and stuffed his hands in his pockets, "Well I'd better get going." He took a few steps away then turned back, "Hey, would you like to go to lunch with me?"

Nerissa was taken aback, "I don't know…"  
"We can just grab something from a food cart around here or whatever, nothing fancy," Ryan elaborated.

"Sure," Nerissa smiled meekly.

"Great!" Ryan beamed, "I'll meet you in the locker room and then we'll head out."

"Sounds good," Nerissa replied.

"Alright, see you then," Ryan said and walked away feeling as though one barrier had just been broken down but he also felt like there were dozens more ahead.


	3. Chapter 3

Around 10 o'clock, Horatio was finally able to make it up to see Nerissa and was unsurprised to find her completely bored out of her mind.

"Hey," Horatio greeted her, "How are you doing?"

"Just great," Nerissa groaned and leaned back in her chair, "You know other than being bored out of my mind. I swear the criminals must be plotting to keep me bored."

"Other than being bored, how are you doing?" Horatio asked.

"Better than I thought I would," Nerissa replied honestly, "Everyone has been great and given me my space. Well, for the most part, Frank has been hovering all day when he's here. Who knew a big, bad Texan like him could be such a mother hen."

Horatio laughed, "He means well."

"I know," Nerissa replied, "I hardly notice that he's doing it most of the time."

"Are you talking about me?" Frank asked when he walked in.

"Of course," Nerissa replied teasingly, "We were just discussing how annoying you are."

"Hey now," Frank feigned offense, "I'm not that bad."

"Whatever you say, Frank," Nerissa replied sarcastically, "Do you want something or are you just hovering again."

"Actually, I have something you could do for me," Frank pulled out his notebook and began searching for a particular page.

"Really?" Nerissa asked and immediately perked up.

"Yeah, I've got a guy in lock up and I need you to make a few phone calls and confirm his so-called alibi," Frank said when he finally found the note he was looking for.

"Well, I'll leave you two to work," Horatio smiled, happy to see Nerissa light up and for a moment he saw a glimmer of the way his daughter was before her undercover mission.

"Bye, Dad," Nerissa replied, with a glint in her eye as she dialed her desk phone.

That glint in her eye gave Horatio some hope that with some time she would return to herself. He knew though that she would never be the same after the hell she had been through but maybe… just maybe work would give her an outlet to work through some of her troubles.

* * *

At 12:30 Nerissa dismissed herself for lunch and met Ryan in the locker room as planned.

"Hey, Ry," Nerissa greeted tentatively.

"Hey, Riss," Ryan grinned when he looked up from his locker, "You ready to go?"

"Yeah," Nerissa replied as she grabbed her purse from her locker and slung it over he shoulder, "Where do you want to go?"

"I was thinking we'd just grab a hotdog from Marvin's cart," Ryan said as he removed her purse from her shoulder, "I don't think you'll need that."

"What? Why?" Nerissa asked and a hint of panic colored her face and voice.

"Because I'm buying you lunch," Ryan said as he placed her purse back in her locker.

"You don't have to do that," Nerissa insisted quickly becoming irate, "I'm perfectly capable of buying my own lunch."

"I know you are," Ryan said calmly and took note of her mood change, "but I want to do something nice for you. You know like a welcome back gift. I knew you wouldn't appreciate a grand gesture so I figured I could just buy you a hot dog."

Nerissa reluctantly agreed to his offer, "Alright, but I get to buy next time."

"Agreed," Ryan said, "Let's go."

Nerissa and Ryan headed out of the lab but once they exited the building Ryan froze, "His cart's a little further away than normal."

"That's fine," Nerissa said as she sized up the distance to the food cart, "I can do it."

"You sure?" Ryan asked, "We can try something else."

"It's fine," Nerissa repeated and took a deep breath, "I can't get better if I stay hidden behind my limits, right?"

"Right," Ryan said, excited to see some of her determination and stubbornness, "After you."

"So, how were you while I was gone," Nerissa asked, trying to drum up a conversation that wasn't focused on her.

"I have to admit," Ryan replied as he watched her out of the corner of his eye," I wasn't too good."

"Why?" Nerissa's face creased with concern.

"Do you remember what I told you before you left?" Ryan asked.

"Yes," Nerissa whispered.

"I thought I lost you this summer, Rissa," Ryan said, "The FBI told us that you were most likely dead and we never told Ana..."

"I'm so sorry," Nerissa stopped in her tracks, "I never thought that would happen," Tears started streaming down her face, "I never intended to be captured like that."

"Hey," Ryan stepped in front of her to draw her focus, he wanted to touch her so badly. To offer some kind of comfort but he was hesitant. He wasn't sure how she would react, "It's not your fault."

"Yes, it is," Nerissa's tears were falling freely now, "I never should have taken that stupid contract."

"You didn't know that that would happen, Rissa," Ryan tried to reassure her, "You are _not _the one to blame here."

"If I'm not, then who is?" Nerissa sobbed even as her frustration rose, "I made the decision to go all on my own."

"Did you ask to be captured?" Ryan asked.

"No," Nerissa whispered as tears continued to streak down her cheeks.

"Then it is _not _your fault," Ryan insisted, "Why don't we walk a little bit further and get our hot dogs?"

"Alright," Nerissa wiped her cheeks dry before the pair walked in silence to the food cart, where they ordered their hot dogs and then took a seat on a nearby bench.

"So," Ryan took a bite of his hot dog before he asked, "What was the great Tony Stark like?"

"He was completely different than what I imagined he would be," Nerissa said absentmindedly as she picked at her hot dog bun, "He started off really rude and childish, just like I thought he'd be, but it turned out that he was just testing me."

Nerissa smiled a bit as she recalled the day she blew up at Tony, "and when I passed he completely transformed into this funny and charismatic guy. Then, he transformed again after we got back from Afghanistan. He became this caring and kind man who just wanted to make sure that I was safe and okay. He saved my life in that damn desert."

"Wow," Ryan was taken aback, "It sounds like you really cared about him."

"I still do," Nerissa admitted and Ryan's hopes fell before she continued, "He was like the older brother that I always wanted but never really got from the guys I was raised with."

"So, how did he take it when you quit?" Ryan asked, assuming that she left without telling Tony who she really was.

"Really well," Nerissa said, not ready to tell him that Tony knew who she really was, "I just told him that I couldn't stay in a place that reminded me so much of what happened."

"Well, even if he hadn't taken it well it's not like he could ever find you again anyway," Ryan said taking a sip of his drink.

Nerissa hated lying to Ryan but she continued to anyway, "Yeah, that's part of why it was so easy to cut ties there. It was just another mission."

"I can't imagine what it must have been like falling back into your old habits like that," Ryan replied, ignorant to the battle that was raging in Nerissa's mind, "but I'm glad you're home now."

Unsure of what to say, Nerissa replied, "Me too."

After finishing their lunch in silence, Ryan escorted Nerissa back to her desk, before returning to the lab. Once she got re-situated at her desk, Nerissa signed back into her computer and resumed work on some cold case files.

* * *

The remainder of the day passed slowly for Nerissa with no visits from the rest of the team. After lunch, they had caught a double homicide in the Gables and since her dad was caught up in the case, instead of waiting for him she called a friend.

"Nathalie Coen," Nathalie answered.

"Hey, Nat, it's Rissa," Nerissa greeted, "Are you busy?"

"Riss! It's good to hear from you. No, I'm not busy why?" Nathalie asked.

"I need a ride," Nerissa replied nonchalantly.

"I'm not in California anymore, Rissa," Nathalie told her.

"Well, I guess it's a good thing I'm not either," Nerissa said cheerfully, "I'm currently sitting at my desk in the crime lab."

"What?!" Nathalie screeched, "You're home?"

"Yeah," Nerissa laughed, "I've been home for a couple of weeks now."

"And you're just now calling me!?" Nathalie yelled.

"I needed some time to readjust to being home and now I'm back to work," Nerissa explained, "I figured since my Dad can't take me home right now, you can come pick me up, go back to my place and cook dinner before my dad comes home with Ana."

"You mean I finally get to meet them!" Nathalie squealed.

"Yep," Nerissa said, happy that her friend was so happy, "So, are you in?"

"Well duh!" Nathalie said enthusiastically, "I'll be there in fifteen minutes to pick you up!"

After hanging up, Nerissa spent a few minutes cleaning up her desk, left a note for her dad on his desk and then headed to the locker room to gather her things. Then she crutched down to the main entrance and waited for Nathalie on a bench just outside the doors. Five minutes after sitting down Nerissa spotted her best friend's sleek yellow car pull into the lot and Nathalie leaped out of her car and ran over to her friend.

"You're really home!" Nathalie squealed pulling her friend into a firm but gentle hug.

"I wouldn't have called if I wasn't," Nerissa replied with a laugh.

"I know, it's just, after the summer it's really nice to see you home," Nathalie sighed then she put her hands on her hips and said, "Now let's talk about what happened to your leg."

"Can we talk about it in the car?" Nerissa glanced around nervously, "I really don't want anybody to overhear."

"Oh yeah," Nathalie slung an arm around her friend, "I totally get it. Let's go," she ushered her friend towards her car.

"So, what happened after the gala?" Nathalie asked once they pulled out of the MDPD parking lot, "Obviously _something_ happened judging by the state of your knee.

"Well, I'm sure by now you've heard about Tony Stark's new 'Iron Man' suit," Nerissa started, and once Nathalie nodded she continued, "Well, the one he is currently using is the second model. The first one he made out of scrap metal to bust us out of that godforsaken prison that we were held in over the summer and as it turns out it was one of Tony's business associates that had us put in that camp…."

"Obadiah Stane," Nathalie recalled something Nerissa had mentioned before.

"That's him," Nerissa said bitterly, "Turns out he pieced back together the first suit that we had left in the desert because it had fallen apart. He was planning on using it to further his own evil agenda… He tried to kill Tony to get him out of the way and tried to kill me when he found out that I was the assassin he'd hired to kill Tony in the first place. He was furious that I had double-crossed him and that's when he shot me, once in the abdomen and once in the knee and then he left me to die."

"Oh Riss," Nathalie lamented, "You've been through so much lately… I think I should stay with you and Ana for a while."

"You don't have to do that," Nerissa insisted, "My dad has been taking care of us."

"But I'm saying that he doesn't have to for a while," Nathalie replied, "Besides I want some time to get to know your precious little girl and this will give me the chance to. Please, Riss, just let me do this."

Nerissa thought about it for a few minutes, "Alright, you can stay but only for a little while."

"Just until you get back on your feet," Nathalie promised, "Not a day longer."

"It can be like old times when we would hide from Xavier and Markus in that little cabin in the Rockies," Nerissa said remembering the days they spent just being girls instead of killers, "We had some good times in that hide-out."

"Yes, we did," Nathalie said nostalgically, "Do you remember the time we ran off there, after one of your more grisly contracts?"

"Which one?" Nerissa shuddered, "I had so many…"

"Morocco," Nathalie said looking over, "The dignitary that was trying to leak his country's secrets so his government contracted Xavier."

"I remember that one now," Nerissa shuddered, "It was the one in Rabat… the guy had hired protective services, there were dozens of them and one of me…"

"You didn't even go straight back to Xavier like you were supposed to," Nathalie said, "You called me right after you landed back stateside and I met you at the cabin. You were still covered in blood and shaking."

"Yeah," Nerissa became caught up in the memory, "I remember telling the pilots on that cargo plane I hitched a ride on that my family had been killed by an assassin and I just wanted to get as far away as possible…"

"That was your favorite story to tell," Nathalie recalled, " 'Please sir, I need your help. My family was killed' or play the part of a girl in shock from the trauma."

"They worked every time," Nerissa defended herself, "Most guys just couldn't believe that a little, blue-eyed, ginger could do anything wrong."

"There were a few though," Nathalie pointed out, turning onto Nerissa's street, "Remember Luc?"

"The French guy?" Nerissa asked, "He was such an ass... "

"He was dangerous though," Nathalie pointed out.

"Very true," Nerissa admitted, "He almost killed me when he caught me after I took out one of his clients."

"He was a smart man," Nathalie joked, "He never fell for your little ruses."

"No, he didn't," Nerissa rubbed the spot on her skull where he had pistol-whipped her.

"Is this it?" Nathalie pointed at the little blue house in front of them.

"Yep," Nerissa confirmed, "That's my house."

Nathalie pulled into the driveway and shut off her car, "Need help getting out?"

"No, I've got it," Nerissa said and slid out of the car with little trouble. She crutched up to her front door, Nathalie trailing behind her, using the door frame for support Nerissa pulled out her keys and unlocked the door, "Here we are," she said and pushed open the door.


End file.
